In Greek mythology the siren is a beautiful water nymph that sang such a captivating song with such an allure that no man could withstand the urge to to follow the song even into great peril and ruin. In fact the siren singer positioned herself in shallow water against the rocks of an island and when lured there the ship and sailor would be wrecked and thrown into the water. The siren had the “Intent” to ruin those who heard her song.
A Siren Goal works in the same way. A Siren Goal is an emotional based objective in your life that leads you to miss opportunities and eventually leads to ruin. As a professional we all have to set goals. We must be cautious that our goals are set with accountability and we are willing to be objective about them. A Siren Goal occurs when we loose all reason and follow emotion to an outcome. In fact the sirens in mythology played to the heart of a man not to his physical desires. Goals can be tricky when emotionally we have our heart set on something that we want. A siren goal is a goal that is set with emotion, does not clearly listen to advice from others and may be a goal that has been outpaced or is not obtainable from where you are yet you are not willing to recalibrate your expectations. The most dangerous part of a siren goal is that the goal itself blinds you from seeing and reaching for other goals that would move you forward and create success.
Example: I met a great guy once who told me his story about his siren goal. In his younger years he had been a baseball phenom. He set his goal to be a pro baseball player and started on that path. The goal at that point was a "Lighthouse Goal" (see 3/31/09 blog) He was drafted and progressed through the farm division. In that process he developed a significant negative and selfish attitude and finally through many injuries his body gave out and he could not compete. His goal of being a pro baseball player was over. In spite of that he did not give up the goal, the emotional desire to be a pro baseball player remained. At that moment not letting go of the old goal and setting a new one sent him into a tail spin that took him a divorce, financial crisis and years to overcome. The siren goal kept calling him to his ruin. He could not see that even though reality had changed. He had become addicted to the turmoil of the water around his Siren Goal and often shunned the calm water of a safe harbor. Eventually after a great soul searching time this young guy was able to re-order his private world and set new goals that introduced him back to life.
To those who are living with siren goals the call to your ruin feels like a call to safety. You can almost feel as though it is a lighthouse. This is just not the case. If you are concerned that you are living under a siren goal ask yourself these questions:
1. Is a trusted advisory giving me feedback about my goals that I get enraged or intolerant over and will not listen?
2. Are the professional managers in my work aligned around their perspective of me yet I do not agree with them at all?
3. Do I feel like my organization “owes” me something?
4. Have I grown accustom to the “chaos” of siren goals around me and will not listen to my own reason or the reason of others?
If you are a “yes” to more then 1 of these questions you may need to sit down with someone you trust and try to break through to a new perspective. In the ancient Greek stories sailors could only hope to escape the siren and their own ruin by tying themselves to the mast of their ship, plugging their ears with wax and turning their heads away. You may find that you need to do the same to an old goal that is destroying the opportunities right in front of you. Turning away from an old goal will face you in a new direction and new opportunities. No to sirens, yes to the lighthouse!
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